MORE FUN STUFF
TV Video Store
Jokes > Food and Diet Jokes
diet is designed to help you cope with the stress that builds up during the day.
slice whole wheat toast - dry
oz skim milk
oz lean broiled chicken breast
cup steamed spinach
cup herb tea
of the Oreos in the package
pints of Rocky Road ice cream
jar hot fudge sauce
cherries, whipped cream
loaves garlic bread with cheese
sausage, mushroom and cheese pizza
cans or 1 large pitcher of beer
Milky Way or Snickers candy bars
frozen cheesecake eaten directly from freezer
For This Diet
Note: Chocolate is
a universal color and may be substituted for any other.
is just DESSERTS spelled backward.
you eat something, and no one else sees you eat it, it has no calories.
drinking a diet soda while eating a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are
canceled by the diet soda.
you eat with someone else, calories don't count as long as you don't eat more
than they do.
used for medicinal purposes never count. Example: hot chocolate, brandy, toast
and Sara Lee cheesecake.
you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner.
foods do not have calories because they are part of the entertainment package
and not part of one's personal fuel.
Milk Duds, buttered popcorn, Junior Mints and Tootsie Rolls.
pieces contain no calories, because of the process of breaking the cookie causes calorie
you are in the process of preparing something, foods licked off knives and
spoons have no calories.
of the same color have the same number of calories. Examples:
green salad and Key Lime pie, mushrooms and white chocolate.
you eat the food off someone else's plate, it doesn't count.
you eat standing up the calories all go to your feet and get walked off.
eaten at Christmas parties has no calories, courtesy of Santa.
More Food and Diet Jokes ==> Page
Search the Internet with Google !!
Please Visit JNJ's Family of Stores
Send comments and mail to: Webmaster@jokesnjokes.net
Last Updated April 1, 2013
We use third-party advertising companies to serve ads when you visit our Website. These companies may use information (not including your name, address email address or telephone number) about your visits to this and other Web sites in order to provide advertisements about goods and services of interest to you. If you would like more information about this practice and to know your choices about not having this information used by these companies, click here.