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Jokes > Strange Signs and Odd Signs. If you have some that you especially like and you don't see it here. Drop us an email.


  • In a Laundromat:
    AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT.

  • Notice in a field:
    THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES

  • Notice in a dry cleaner's window:
    ANYONE LEAVING THEIR GARMENTS HERE FOR
    MORE THAN 30 DAYS WILL BE DISPOSED OF.

  • Sign on motorway garage:
    PLEASE DO NOT SMOKE NEAR OUR PETROL PUMPS.
    YOUR LIFE MAY NOT BE WORTH MUCH BUT OUR PETROL IS

  • In an office:
    WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN.

  • Spotted in a toilet of a New York office building:
    TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW.

  • Outside a secondhand shop:
    WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN.

  • Notice in health food shop window:
    CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS

  • Spotted in a National Park:
    BEARS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR

  • Seen during a conference:
    FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE FIRST FLOOR

  • On a church door:
    THIS IS THE GATE OF HEAVEN. ENTER YE ALL BY THIS DOOR.
    THIS DOOR IS KEPT LOCKED BECAUSE OF THE DRAFT.
    (PLEASE USE SIDE DOOR.)

  • Outside a photographer's studio:
    OUT TO LUNCH:
    IF NOT BACK BY FIVE,
    OUT FOR DINNER ALSO

  • Outside a disco:
    SMARTS IS THE MOST EXCLUSIVE DISCO IN TOWN. EVERYONE WELCOME

  • Sign warning of quicksand:
    QUICKSAND. ANY PERSON PASSING THIS POINT WILL BE DROWNED. BY ORDER OF THE DISTRICT COUNCIL.

  • Notice sent to residents of a Wiltshire parish:
    DUE TO INCREASING PROBLEMS WITH LETTER LOUTS AND VANDALS WE MUST ASK ANYONE WITH RELATIVES BURIED IN THE GRAVEYARD TO DO THEIR BEST TO KEEP THEM IN ORDER

  • In a London department store
    BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS

  • Sign on two doors in a Kaiser building in Sacramento, California:
    Rash Door.

  • "WET PAINT. This is a warning, not an instruction!"


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    Last Updated October 6, 2003