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- Men approve of premarital sex until daughters are born.
- If a man appears sexy, caring and smart give him a day or two,
He'll be back to his usual self.
- A doctor tells a woman she can no longer touch anything alcoholic.
So she gets a divorce.
- Marriage certificate?
It's just another name for her work permit.
- When a newly married woman smiles, all know why,
but when a ten-years married woman smiles, all wonder why.
- "It was on this day two years ago that I lost my dear wife and children.
I will never forget that game of cards..."
- Men lie about their jobs, drive cars they can't afford, wear toupees and loose shirts that hide their stomachs, and say they want a "real woman"...
- Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a mans sex drive by 90 percent....
- Bigamy is having one husband too many.
Some say monogamy is the same.
- If a man suggests that you take a break from vacuuming the living room and relax
what it means is he can't hear the TV
- If you think he's listening to you, you're wrong
he's trying to convert what you just said into something with a sexual connotation
- If a man had a thought in his head, it would get lonely!
- If men got pregnant.... abortion would be available in
convenience stores and drive-through windows.
- Men are like roller coasters: when it's good you don't want to get off, and when it isn't...
you can't wait to throw up.
- Behind every great man is a woman with a vibrator
- If he asks you if you're faking it tell him no,
you're just practicing.
- Scientist have finally discovered the chemical formula for Viagra.
- Remember; you are known by the idiot you accompany
- Definition of a bachelor: A man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.
- Women don't make fools of men
most of them are the "do-it-yourself" types.
- The best reason to divorce or break-up with a man is for health reasons
you're sick of him.
- The best way to get a man to do something is to suggest they are too old for it.
- If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him check books.
- A man's idea of serious commitment is usually, "Oh alright, I'll stay the night."
- Marrying a divorced man is ecologically responsible.
In a world where there are more women than men, it pays to recycle.
- Always wear high heels, it makes it easier to look down on him.
- Scientists have just discovered something that can do the work of five men
- When God made Man,
she was just kidding.
- If God had wanted men to be perfect, he'd have given them brains
- Men is proof even God makes mistakes
- Men? On the whole, I'd rather buy new batteries.
- Men read Playboy for the articles
women go to malls for the music.
- Men are creatures with two legs and eight hands.
- Men love sex with redheads, but their wives don't appreciate it!
- Men are fun to argue with, because even IF they win...they lose.
- Men of quality respect women's equality.
- Men play the game. Women know the score.
- Flies spread disease, keep your's zipped
- Men and women were created equal,
but women continued to improve.
- Women are a pain in the ass,
men are a pain EVERYWHERE!
- Men have a joystick whereas women just have a game port.
- Only a man would buy a $500 car and put a $4000 stereo in it.
- Men, stupid? You'd be dense too if you had your brain in your pants!
- If you think the way to a man's heart is through his stomach
you're aiming way too high
- It was love at first sight. He walked by and I saw the twinkle in his eye.
I never knew that someone could be so in love with his own reflection in the mirror.
- Women are indeed silly, we sleep with men, who if they were women, we wouldn't even have bothered to have lunch with.
- Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes,
it means you laugh at his.
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Last Updated April 1, 2013
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