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Battle of the Sexes and Gender Jokes

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Jokes > Battle of the Sexes and Gender Jokes


One Line Sums It Up...

  • Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends.
    You order what you want, then when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that.

  • After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, "You know, I was a fool when I married you."
    She replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice." 

  • Man is incomplete until he is married.
    Then he is finished.

  • Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.

  • You know the honeymoon is pretty much over when you start to go out with the boys on Wednesday nights, and so does she.

  • I've got trouble with the wife again - she came into the bar looking for me and I asked for her number.

  • The theory used to be you marry an older man because they are more mature.
    The new theory is that men don't mature.
    So you might as well marry a younger one.

  • The difference between marriage and death?
    Dead people are free.

  • The days just before marriage are like a snappy introduction to a tedious book

  • Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.

  • When a newly married man looks happy, we know why.
    But when a ten-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.

  • There was this lover who said that he would go through hell for her.
    They got married, and now he is going through hell.

  • There was a man who said, "I never knew what happiness was until I got married...and then it was too late!"

  • Married life is full of excitement and frustration:
    * In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
    * In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
    * In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

  • It is true that love is blind but marriage is definitely an eye-opener.

  • A happy marriage is a matter of giving and taking; the husband gives and the wife takes.

  • Son: How much does it cost to get married, Dad?
    Father: I don't know son, I'm still paying for it.

  • Son: Is it true? Dad, I heard that in ancient China, a man doesn't know his wife until he marries.
    Father: That happens everywhere, son, everywhere!

  • A husband is living proof that a wife can take a joke.

  • Marriage is very much like a violin; after the sweet music is over, the strings are attached.

  • Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore, marriage is an institution for the blind.

  • Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her Masters.

  • Marriage requires a man to prepare 4 types of "rings":
    ** The Engagement Ring
    ** The Wedding Ring
    ** The Suffe-Ring
    ** The Endu-Ring

  • First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
    Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."


More Battle of the Sexes and Gender Jokes ==> Page  1   
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    Last Updated April 1, 2013

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