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Comebacks > Insults and Sarcasm Against Bullies and Mean Guys.  
If you have some that you especially like and you don't see it here. Drop us an email.


  • He'll cry over your wounds so he can get salt in them.

  • He heats the knives so his family won't use too much butter.

  • The next time you'll meet anyone like him, it will have to be In a Nightmare.

  • He got his parents a fifty-piece dinner set for their Golden Anniversary a box of toothpicks.

  • He told his children Santa Claus is too old to get around any more.

  • He takes sparrows, dips them in peroxide, and sells them as canaries.

  • He'll throw a drowning man both ends of a rope.

  • The last place he lived in, he campaigned for dry law, got it passed and then moved away.

  • If you kicked him in his heart, you'd break your toe.

  • He has lots of fortitude. He'll stand for nearly anything, but a woman on a train.

  • The only way he can hear any good about himself is to talk to himself.

  • Every time a report comes about the dangers of second-hand cigarette smoke, he goes around blowing smoke in people’s faces.

  • He's suffering from hardening of the hearteries.

  • His motto is ‘A TOOTH FOR A TOOTH', but expects yours to have gold in it.

  • He folds his newspaper so the guy next to him in the bus can only read half the newspaper.

  • You could not warm up to him if you were cremated together.

  • Lots of people would love working for him - if they were graver diggers.

  • He'd steal a dead fly from a blind spider.


Recommended Reading

cover
Giant Book of Put-Downs, Insults & Excuses
by Maureen Kushner, Joseph Resenbloom, Joseph Rosenbloom

cover
Stick Up for Yourself : Every Kid's Guide to Personal Power & Positive Self-Esteem
by Gershen Kaufman, et al

cover
How to Handle Bullies, Teasers and Other Meanies: A Book That Takes the Nuisance Out of Name Calling and Other Nonsense
by Kate Cohen-Posey, Betsy A. Lampe (Illustrator)

cover
Words Will Never Hurt Me: Helping Kids Handle Teasing, Bullying and Putdowns
by Sally Northway Ogden (Illustrator), Margaret Smith (Editor)


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Last Updated April 1, 2013

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