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Profession Jokes > Accountant Jokes.  
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  • What's the definition of an accountant?
    Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand. 

  • What's the definition of a good tax accountant?
    Someone who has a loophole named after him. 

  • When does a person decide to become an accountant?
    When he realizes he doesn't have the charisma to succeed as an undertaker. 

  • What's an actuary?
    An accountant without the sense of humor.

  • Why do some accountants decide to become actuaries?
    They find bookkeeping too exciting.

  • What's an insolvency practitioner?
    Someone who arrives after the battle and bayonets all the wounded.

  • What's a shy and retiring accountant?
    An accountant who is half a million shy and that's why he's/she's retiring.

  • How do you drive an accountant completely insane?
    Tie him to a chair, stand in front of him and fold up a roadmap the wrong way.

  • What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don't?
    Depreciation.

  • What do actuaries do to liven up their office party?
    Invite an accountant.

  • Why did the auditor cross the road?
    Because he looked in the file and that's what they did last year.

  • Why do accountants make good lovers?
    They're great with figures.

  • Why did the Accountant cross the road?
    To bore the people on the other side!

  • What does CPA stand for?
    Can't Pass Again.

  • How do you know if an accountant is an extrovert or introvert?
    An extrovert looks at your shoes when talking to you, an introvert looks at their shoes when talking to you.

  • What is the difference between tax avoidance and tax evasion?
    Jail.

  • What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don't?
    Depletion.

  • What does an accountant use for birth control?
    His personality. 

  • What's an extroverted accountant?
    One who looks at your shoes while he's talking to you instead of his own. 

  • What's an auditor? 
    Someone who arrives after the battle and bayonets all the wounded. 

  • There are three kinds of accountants in the world
    Those who can count and those who can't. 

  • What's an accountant's idea of trashing his hotel room?
    Refusing to fill out the guest comment card. 

  • How do you drive an accountant completely insane?
    Tie him to a chair, stand in front of him and fold up a road map the wrong way. 

  • What's the most wicked thing a group of young accountants can do?
    Go into town and gang-audit someone. 

  • What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don't?
    Depreciation. 


More Accountant Jokes ==> Page  1    
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    Last Updated April 1, 2013

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