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So Many Monkey Jokes!

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So Many Monkey Jokes

Monkey jokes are a type of joke that is often used in comedy routines. They are often told in an animal-based style, and they usually involve monkeys. The jokes generally use puns or wordplay to make the audience laugh.

We don’t know what it is, but there’s something pretty funny about monkeys. From their cheeky faces, the funny noises they make or their generally mischievous ways, there’s plenty to giggle at. It’s no wonder we’ve found endless jokes about monkeys to keep you entertained.

Of course, there’s much more to these amazing animals than their entertainment value. There’s tons of interesting stuff worth learning about primates. Did you know, for example, that there are over 260 different species of monkey? Or that every kind of monkey can be separated into two categories: the New World Monkeys and the Old World Monkeys? New World Monkeys live in South America and have strong tails that they use to hold onto things. Old World monkeys live in Asia and Africa and you can tell them apart by their nostrils, which face downwards.

Okay, on to the jokes – enjoy!


The Most Hilarious Monkey Jokes

Monkey Jokes – One Liners, Puns and Short Jokes

What’s are monkey’s favourite biscuits? Chocolate chimp cookies.

Where do monkeys get their gossip? On the ape vine.

What do monkeys get when they sunbathe? An orangu-tan.

Where should a monkey go if she loses her tail? To a re-tail-er.

What kind of key unlocks a banana? A mon-key.

What’s furry and dangerous and lives in a tree? A monkey with a machine gun.

Why did the monkey take its banana to the doctors? It wasn’t peeling good.

What do you call a monkey flying in the sky? A hot air baboon!

What do you call a monkey in a minefield? Baboom!

Why don’t monkeys play cards on the savannah? Too many cheetahs around!

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What do you call monkeys that share an amazon account? Prime mates.

What do monkeys do at work? Monkey business.

Why did the monkey put a net over its head? It wanted to catch its breath.

Today I learnt that humans eat more bananas than monkeys. I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey!

What is a monkey’s favourite dance move? The banana split.

Which side of a monkey has more hair? The outside.

What happens when you double cross a monkey? They go bananas.

What do you call a monkey at the south pole? Lost!

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? – Because it was dead.
What do you call two gorillas in a bathtub? – A soap opera.

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If there were no bananas, what fruit would monkeys choose? Ape-ricots.

Why did the monkey cross the road? Because the chicken had the day off.

What kind of monkey sounds like a sheep? A baaa-boon.

What do you call a crowd of monkeys? An Orangatangle.

Why do monkeys carry their babies on their backs? Because it’s too hard dragging a buggy up those trees.

What happens when monkeys gets fleas? Lunch!

Why did King Kong climb the Empire State building? Because he couldn’t fit in the lift.

What d’you call a monkey with a banana in each ear? Anything you like, it won’t be able to hear you!

What do you call an angry monkey? Furious George.

What do you call a man who can jump from tree to tree? A monkey’s uncle.

Two monkeys run a bath. One says, “ooh ooh ooh ah ah ah!”. The other says, “put some cold in it!”

Where do baby monkeys sleep? In ape-ri-cots.

What do monkeys wear when they are cooking? Ape-rons.

Why did the monkey like the banana? It was ap-peal-ing.

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What do you call a monkey that’s in charge of its tree? A Branch Manager!

What do you call a restaurant that throws food in your face? A Monkey Business.

What do you call poorly monkeys? Gor-ILL-as.

What do you call an angry monkey that loves fruit? Grr-ape.

Where do monkeys go for a drink? The monkey bars!

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Chimpanzee Jokes

These jokes about chimpanzees really bring out the playfulness of the chimps.

What did the banana say to the chimp? Nothing. Bananas can’t talk.

What do monkeys do for laughs? They tell jokes about people.

What does a woodcutter say before he chops down a tree in the rainforest? Let the chimps fall where they may.

What should you bring to a party in the jungle? Chimps and dip!

What do you call a baby monkey that takes after its mum? A Chimp off the old block.

How do you get an escaped lion back into its habitat? You use a bargaining chimp.

What’s a monkey’s favourite drink? Chimpan-tea!

What’s a chimp’s favourite baked good? Banana bread.

What’s are monkey’s favourite biscuits? Chocolate chimp cookies.

Gorilla Jokes

Gorillas are some of my favorite monkeys, especially when visiting the zoo. Here are a few of my favorite jokes about gorilla jokes.

Why shouldn’t you get into a fight with a monkey? They use gorilla warfare.

What did the banana do when it saw a gorilla? The banana split.

Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Because they have big fingers!

How did the gorilla know she was poorly? She had a belly ape.

Why did the gorilla cross the road? He had to take care of some monkey business.

Why did the Gorilla fail its exam? He didn’t have the ape-titude.

What should you do if you find a gorilla sitting at your school desk? Sit somewhere else!

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What’s the best time of year to see gorillas in the wild? Ape-ril.

Also see the funniest jokes about birds

Monkey Story Jokes

WHO was driving?…

A police officer came upon a terrible wreck where the driver and passenger had been killed. As he looked upon the wreckage a little monkey came out of the brush and hopped around the crashed car. The officer looked down at the monkey and said “I wish you could talk.”
The monkey looked up at the officer and shook his head up and down.
“You can understand what I’m saying?” asked the officer.
Again, the monkey shook his head up and down.
“Well, did you see this?”
“Yes,” motioned the monkey.
“What happened?”
The monkey pretended to have a can in his hand and turned it up by his mouth.
“They were drinking?” asked the officer.
“What else?”
The monkey pinched his fingers together and held them to his mouth.
“They were smoking marijuana?”
“Now wait, you’re saying your owners were drinking, and smoking marijuana before they wrecked.”
“What were you doing during all this?”
“Driving” motioned the monkey.

Looks JUST Like You

A man walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender asks him, “Why the long face?” The man says, “I just saw my ex-wife with a guy who looked just like me.” The bartender says, “You’re not alone. My wife left me for another guy who looks just like me.”

The man says, “I don’t understand. What’s wrong with us?”

The bartender replies, “We’re both monkeys.”