New Year’s Jokes to Ring in the New Year

New Year's Jokes

New Year’s Eve is the last holiday of the year, but it might as well be the first. It’s a time to celebrate with friends and family and end on a high note before we head into the new year.

New Year’s Eve is a celebration of the passage of time. It marks an end for one year and a beginning for another, which can be both exciting and stressful.

And what better way to head into the new year, then with some humor.

The Best New Year’s Jokes to Start the New Year!

One Liner New Year’s Jokes

What do snowmen like to do on New Year’s Eve? – Chill out

My New Year’s resolution is to stop procrastinating. – But I’ll wait until tomorrow to start

What do farmers give their wives at midnight on New Year’s Eve? – Hogs and kisses

What did the ghost say on January 1st? – Happy Boo Year

Knock knock! Who’s there? Abby. Abby who? Abby New Year!

What do cows say on January 1st? – “Happy Moo Year!”

Why should you put your new calendar in the freezer? – To start the new year off cool

What is corn’s favorite holiday? – New Ears Eve

Why do you need a jeweler on New Year’s Eve? – To ring in the new year.

Where can you go to practice Math on New Year’s Eve? – Times Square.

What food should you avoid on New Year’s? – Firecrackers

Why did the man sprinkle sugar on his pillow on New Year’s Eve? – He wanted to start the year with sweet dreams

Youth is when you’re allowed to stay up for New Year’s.
Middle age is when you’re forced to

What do New Year’s parades have in common with Santa Claus?
No one is ever awake to see them.

What is corn’s favorite holiday? New Ears Eve

Where can you find comedians on New Year’s Eve?
Waiting for the punchline

What’s a cows favorite holiday? Moo Year’s Eve

What is a New Year’s resolution?
Something that goes in one year and out the other.

What do you say when saying goodbye on New Year’s Eve?
See you next year!

My New Year’s resolution is to see my cup half-full, preferably with rum, gin, vodka, or moonshine.

What do you call always wanting a date for New Year’s Eve?
Social Security

What did the little champagne bottle call his father?
Pop!

What’s a cow’s favorite holiday?
Moo Year’s Eve.

Where can you find comedians on New Year’s Eve?
Waiting for the punch line.

What did the ghost say on January 1?
Happy Boo Year.

These New Year’s jokes will give you all the laughs you need, but for good luck, here are some foods you should eat.

I see no need to make more New Year’s resolutions when the ones already on the books aren’t being enforced.

What do you call always wanting a date for New Year’s Eve?
Social Security.

Where can you go to practice math on New Year’s Eve?
Times Square.

Why should you put your new calendar in the freezer?
To start off the New Year in a cool way.

What do you tell someone you didn’t see on New Year’s Eve?
I haven’t seen you for a year.

What is corn’s favorite holiday?
New Ears Day!

What’s the one group that hates New Year’s Day?
The New Year’s Eve cleanup crew.

Other Holiday Jokes:

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