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The Complete List of Thanksgiving Jokes

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Thanksgiving Jokes

Why can’t you take a turkey to church?
They use fowl language

What’s the most musical part of a turkey?
The drumstick

If you call a large turkey a gobbler what do you call a small one?
Goblet

What happened when the turkey got into a fight?
He got the stuffing knocked out of him!

Why did the police arrest the turkey?
They suspected fowl play

What is a pumpkin’s favorite sport?
Squash

What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?
Pumpkin pi

How do Rednecks celebrate Thanksgiving?
Pump kin!

What do you wear to Thanksgiving dinner?
A Har-VEST

What smells the best at a Thanksgiving dinner?
Your nose.

What sound does a turkey’s phone make?
Wing! Wing!

What was the turkey suspected of?
Fowl play

What do you call a pilgrims vocabulary?
Pilgrammar

What kind of face does a pilgrim make when he’s in pain?
Pil-grimace.

What do you call the age of a pilgrim?
Pilgrimage

What did the turkey say to the computer?
Google, google, google!

What’s the best dance to do on Thanksgiving?
The turkey trot

Why does a pilgrim’s pants always fall down?
Because they wear their belt buckle on their hat.

What do you call a running turkey?
Fast food

What key has legs and can’t open doors?
A Turkey

Why do turkeys always go, “gobble, gobble”?
Because they never learned good table manners!

What did the turkey say before it was roasted?
Boy! I’m stuffed!

When do you serve tofu turkey?
Pranksgiving

What did sick people do on the Mayflower?
They went to the dock!

  New Year's Jokes to Ring in the New Year

If pilgrims traveled on the Mayflower, what do college students travel on?
Scholar ships

Why did the turkey cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off