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The Best School Jokes

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School Jokes

School One-Liners

  • We used to call it “recess.” Today they call it “cease fire.”
  • The Bible Studies course has been recently changed to “Theories in Mass Hypnosis 101.” Surprisingly no one seems to have noticed.
  • College would be great if it weren’t for all the classes.
  • I’m failing geometry because I refuse to believe that pie are squared.
  • Someone died of a brain aneurism today while taking a standardized test. The last thing anyone saw him do was stand up, pull all his hair out and yell, “ABACADABA!! ABACADABA!!!!”
  • I think I’ll skip English tomorrow. There are just certain aspects of Moby I don’t want to know about.
  • The school board decided to remove speech and debate from the course schedule; there was no argument.
  • Our school is very low-budgeted; our physics book is so out of date the last chapter deals with combustion.
  • School is just an elaborate plot by vampires to obtain the blood of teenagers through periodic blood-drives.
  • Today in Art class we were going to paint a nude model, but the teacher sent her to the office for violating dress code.
  • Fifth graders in Texas are using worms to recycle garbage from school lunches. But even the worms won’t eat the Salisbury steak.
  • Today in English we learned absolutely nothing about killing mockingbirds.
  • I went to a tough high school. In biology we used to dissect custodians.
  • To be a first-grade teacher you have to have skill, dedication, and an immunity to knock-knock jokes.
  • School is where you always try to do your best-except when your friends are watching.
  • Teachers deserve a lot of credit. Of course, if we paid them more, they wouldn’t need it.
  • Back-to-school sales get me all excited. Of course, pretty much any sale gets me all excited.
  • School is very important. Everyone should get at least a high school education–even if they already know everything.
  • You know our education system has problems when Hallmark comes out with a new line of “Easy-to-read” graduation cards.
  • My kids have everything they need to go back to school—except the right attitude.
  • The best part of going back to school is seeing all your friends. The worst part is that your teachers won’t let you talk to them.
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