School is a lot more fun with a sense of humor, isn’t it? No matter what age you are, these jokes will remind you of school and make you laugh!
The Most Hilarious Student Jokes
The Student and the Pharmacist
A somewhat advanced society has figured how to package basic knowledge in pill form. A student, needing some learning, goes to the pharmacy and asks what kind of knowledge pills are available.
The pharmacist says, “Here’s a pill for English literature.” The student takes the pill and swallows it and has new knowledge about English literature!
“What else do you have?” asks the student. “Well, I have pills for art history, biology, and world history,” replies the pharmacist.
The student asks for these, and swallows them and has new knowledge about those subjects. Then the student asks, “Do you have a pill for math?”
The pharmacist says, “Wait just a moment,” and goes back into the storeroom and brings back a whopper of a pill and plunks it on the counter.
“I have to take that huge pill for math?” inquires the student. The pharmacist replied, “Well, you know… math always was a little hard to swallow.”
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The Following Are Answers to 5th Grade Science Exams:
- When you breath, you inspire. When you do not breath, you expire.
- H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold water.
- To collect fumes of sulphur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test tube.
- When you smell an odorless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide.
- Nitrogen is not found in Ireland because it is not found in a free state.
- Water is composed of 2 gins, Oxygin & Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water.
- Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes and caterpillers.
- Blood flows down one leg and up the other.
- Respiration is composed of 2 acts, first inspiration, and then expectoration.
- The moon is a planet just like earth, only it is even deader.
- Artifical insemination is when the farmer does it to the cow instead of the bull.
- Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire.
- A super-saturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold.
- Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas.
- The pistol of a flower is its only protection against insects.
- The alimentary canal is located in the northern part of Indiana.
- The skeleton is what is left after the insides have been taken out and the outsides have been taken off. The purpose of the skeleton is something to hitch meat to.
- A permanent set of teeth consists of 8 canines, 8 cuspids, 2 molars, & 8 cuspidors.
- The tides are a fight between the Earth and Moon. All water tends towards the moon, because there is no water in the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight.
- A fossil is an extinct animal. The older it is, the more extinct it is.
- Many women belive that an alcoholic binge will have no ill effects on the unborn fetus, but that is a large misconception.
- Equator: A managerie lion running around the Earth through Africa.
- Germinate: To become a naturalized German.
- Liter: A nest of young puppies.
- Magnet: Something you find crawling all over a dead cat.
- Momentum: What you give a person when they are going away.
- Planet: A body of Earth surrounded by sky.
- Rhubarb: A kind of celery gone bloodshot.
- Vacuum: A large, empty space where the pope lives.
- Before giving a blood transfusion, find out if the blood is affirmative or negative.
- For a nosebleed: Put the nose much lower then the body until the heart stops.
- For dog bite: Put the dog away for sevral days. If he has not recovered, then kill it.
- For asphyxiation: Apply artificial respiration until the patient is dead.
- To prevent contraception: wear a condominium.
- For head cold: Use an agonizer to spray the nose until it drops in your throat.
- To keep milk from turning sour: Keep it in the cow.
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A Visit to The Zoo
Three mischievous boys went to the zoo one day for an outing, since they had the day off from school.
They decided to visit the elephant cage, but soon enough, they were picked up by a cop for causing a disturbance.
The officer hauled them off to security for questioning.
The supervisor in charge asked them to give their names and tell what they were doing at the elephant cage.
The first boy innocently said, “My name is Gary, and I was just throwing peanuts into the elephant cage.”
The second added, “My name is Larry, and all I was doing was throwing peanuts into the elephant cage.
The third boy was a little shaken up and said, “Well, my name is Peter, but my friends call me Peanuts.”
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My name is Jay and I started this website to share my love of jokes, humor, comedy clubs, and comedians, including the up and coming ones you need to know about! Please feel to send me your suggestions and feedback through the contact form.