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Kids JOKES > Kids Dinosaur Jokes. We are always in the process of updating our Dinosaur Jokes. If you have one or more that you especially like and you don't see it here. Drop us an email.

  • Q: What does a Triceratops sit on?
    A: Its Tricera-bottom.

  • Q: What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars ?
    A: Tyrannosaurus wrecks !

  • Q: Why did the dinosaur get in the bed ?
    A: Because he was tired!

  • Q: Why did the dinosaur cross the road ?
    A: It was the chicken's day off.

  • Receptionist: Doctor, there's an invisible dinosaur in the waiting room.
    Doctor: Tell her I can't see her!

  • Q: What do you call a fossil that doesn't ever want to work?
    A: Lazy bones!

  • Q: What did the dinosaur say after the car crash ?
    A: I'msosaurus

  • Q: What do you call a tyrannosaurus that talks and talks and talks ...?
    A: A dinobore!

  • Q: What was T. rex's favorite number?
    A: Eight! (ate)

  • Q: Why are there old dinosaur bones in the museum?
    A: Because they can't afford new ones!

  • Q: Is it true that a dinosaur won't attack if you hold a tree branch?
    A: That depends on how fast you carry it!

  • John: I lost my pet dinosaur.
    Ron: Why don't you put an ad in the newspaper ?
    John: What good would that do, she can't read!

  • Q: What did the Tyrannosaurus rex get after mopping the floor?
    A: Dino-sore!

  • Q: Why did the dinosaurs go extinct?
    A: Because they wouldn't take a bath !

  • Q: What makes more noise than a dinosaur ?
    A: Two dinosaurs !

  • Q: What do you call a Stegosaurus with carrots in its ears ?
    A: Anything you want, it can't hear you!

  • Q: What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?
    A: Try-Try-Try-ceratops !

  • Q: What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?
    A: Tyrannosaurus wrecks !

  • Q: Which dinosaur slept all day ?
    A: The dino-snore!

  • Q: What do you call Tyrannosaurus rex when it wears a cowboy hat and boots ?
    A: Tyrannosaurus tex!

  • Q: What do you say when you meet a two-headed dinosaur?
    A: Hello, hello!

  • Q: What do you do if you find a blue Ichthyosaur ?
    A: Cheer him up!

  • Q: Did the dinosaur take a bath ?
    A: Why, is there one missing?

  • Q: What's the best way to talk to a Tyrannosaur ?
    A: Long distance!

  • Q: What kind of dinosaur can you ride in a rodeo?
    A: A Bronco-saurus !

  • Q: What do you get when you cross a dinosaur with fireworks?

  • Q: Which type of dinosaur could jump higher than a house ?
    A: Any kind! A house can't jump!

  • Q: What does a giant Tyrannosaurus eat?
    A: Anything she wants!

  • Q: Why did the dinosaur paint her toenails red?
    A: So she could hide in the strawberry patch!

  • Q: What should you do if you find a dinosaur in your bed ?
    A: Find somewhere else to sleep!

  • Q: Do you know how long dinosaurs should be fed?
    A: Exactly the same as short dinosaurs !

  • Q: When can three giant dinosaurs get under an umbrella and not get wet?
    A: When it's not raining!

  • Q: How did the dinosaur feel after he ate a pillow?
    A: Down in the mouth !

  • Q: What do you get when a dinosaur walks through the strawberry patch?
    A: Strawberry jam !

  • Q: Where was the dinosaur when the sun went down ?
    A: In the dark!

  • Q: What's as big as a dinosaur but weighs nothing?
    A: Her shadow!

  • Q: What do you get when a dinosaur sneezes?
    A: Out of the way!

  • Q: What do you get if you cross a pig with a dinosaur ?
    A: Jurassic Pork!

  • Q: How do you know if there's a dinosaur in your refrigerator ?
    A: Look for footprints in the pizza !

  • Q: What happened when the dinosaur took the train home?
    A: She had to bring it back!

  • Johnny: Why did the Triceratops cross the road ?
    Billy: He didn't, the chicken crossed the road .
    Johnny: Well, why did the chicken cross the road ?
    Billy: To get away from the Triceratops !

  • Q: How do you know if there's a dinosaur under your bed ?
    A: Your nose hits the ceiling!

  • Q: Why was the dinosaur afraid of the ocean ?
    A: Because there was something fishy about it!

  • Q: What do you call a Stegoceras with one leg?
    A: Eileen (I lean)!

  • Mother: Why are you crying?
    Daughter: Because I wanted to get a dinosaur for my baby brother .
    Mother: That's no reason to cry.
    Daughter: Yes it is! No one would trade me!

  • Q: What was the scariest prehistoric animal?
    A: The Terror-dactyl !

  • Q: What has a spiked tail, plates on its back, and sixteen wheels?
    A: A Stegosaurus on roller skates!

  • Q: What do you call it when a dinosaur slides in to home plate?
    A: A dinoscore!

  • Q: What do you get if you cross a Triceratops with a kangaroo ?
    A: A Tricera-hops!

  • Q: What made the dinosaur's car stop ?
    A: A flat Tire-annosaurus !

  • Q: What do you call a dinosaur that left its armor out in the rain ?
    A: A Stegosau-rust !

  • Q: What type of tool does a prehistoric reptile carpenter use?
    A: A dino-saw !

  • Q: Who makes the best prehistoric reptile clothes ?
    A: A dino-sewer !

  • Q: Which dinosaurs were the best policemen?
    A: Tricera-cops !

  • Q: What do you call a dinosaur who is elected to Congress?
    A: Rep. Tile!

  • Q: Where did Velociraptor buy things?
    A: At a dino-store!

  • Q: Why did the Apatosaurus devour the factory?
    A: Because she was a plant eater!

  • Q: What is an Iguanodon's favorite playground toy?
    A: A dino-see-saur !

  • Q: How much fur can you get from a dinosaur ?
    A: As fur as you can get!

  • Q: Why do dinosaurs eat raw meat?
    A: Because they don't know how to cook !

  • Q: What did dinosaurs have that no others animals ever had?
    A: Baby dinosaurs!

  • Q: How many dinosaurs can fit in an empty box ?
    A: One. After that, the box isn't empty anymore!

  • Q: How can you tell if there's a dinosaur in the refrigerator ?
    A: The door won't close!

  • Q: Where do prehistoric reptiles like to go on vacation?
    A: To the dino-shore !

Recommended Reading:

1000 Knock Knock Jokes for Kids
by Michael Kilgarriff, Ltd Staff Ward Lock

500 Hilarious Jokes for Kids
by Jeff Rovin

1000 Crazy Jokes for Kids
by Michael Johnstone

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    Last Updated April 1, 2013

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